MY NEXT FOOTSTEP

I actually can’t put a mental note to the time my holidays started. All the memory drums up is the last days of merry making the semester came with. With the accolade of student of the year award, what more could I ask for from an action packed year five was for me.

Well, the action mainly came from the leadership tasks I assigned myself to or was assigned to accomplish. This combined with the obvious busts of clinical medicine, surgery, pediatrics and obstetrics and gynecology, I could not ask for more.

Now that school is over, the tasks have decreased tremendously. For starters, there are no ward assignments to crumble out of bed for to catch up with. There are no patients to clerk and keep up with but this won’t be long as internship seems to be glaring up sooner than I can imagine.

Finishing school comes with a lot of relief especially if you have been in school for “FIVE” years. One is overwhelmed by excitement and at this time the parties for the usually “dull” medics were on top gear. Dull if you think we are anyway but I differ in that thinking.

When dawn comes after dusk, the question that you have been avoiding lingers back. This time more clear and definite. “What next?”

What next? Well the obvious answer is to rest and rest but that can be prosaic if you have been used to waking up very early, get patients’ blood results, perform a few minor procedures and yet at the same time rush for a 1000hrs appointment with a professor.

So what does someone do after all that, I could read novels till the heavens come down but I could not be still in one place for so long. Lucky for me, I have a research grant to carry out a study that could surely take some of my time but that is certainly not enough for a work junkie like I.

I got whirlwind on a job at some clinic but at this time it was stifling boring and I found myself shuffling my gait in another direction. Next stop is a research project within medical school, just something my mind craved for.

May be now my heart is in the right place and there is surely one way to find out. The mirror will always tell you what happened anyway.

I WAS CARRYING A BAG IN THE MIRROR!

The streets of Kampala are quite assorted with a number of commercial commodities despite a public ban. These commodities come in different categories but notably are bags, shoes and clothes and are usually strategically placed to stimulate your colliculus at the entrances of buildings. Despite the colour, not all is “golden” actually a lot is “not”. Making an effort to buy anything from these places is akin to making a spot on diagnosis of neurofibromatosis1 when someone else views indurated boils on a body.

Wonder not why the connotations to probably something you don’t understand and consider the similarity in the subjects within the article. My solemn advice is to explore your curiosity and head to the streets and buy some of these amazing commodities. Chances are you will back on the street within a year.

When you are first exposed to a child suffering from “staphylococcal skin scalded syndrome” your probable initial aphasic time when asked what is happening is to randomly think of a variety of names of dermatological conditions in your mind. This is usually in total disregard to what you are seeing most of the time cause “the eye sees/looks for what the mind knows.”

Like many novice medics, you are probably excited to make a complex diagnosis but as you dig deeper in the course, the realization of this comes to naught. In fact, agape you are when someone tells at the first meeting with a client that the diagnosis is scleroderma. As if to relieve your ignorance he then hands to you a book to read more after giving you a summary of what the patient had and why it is that particular diagnosis. Little does one wonder how he derived that diagnosis at sight and yet in your reading one ought to make some investigations involving the immunological system of the client.

Now imagine transferring you complex circuits of grey matter to come up with a sound judgment for the patient and involve this in purchasing a bag. Yeah I know what you are thinking; “what the hake?” but as u do that, how many bags have you bought in that last 2 years. You don’t even think about that cause they are definitely a good number. So the question is why? So what is in a bag any way?

For one never under estimate your time in elucidating the true nature of something. Patience and time, our generation foes are what is required to garner the experience needed. Of course you shall need experience to come up with the right perfect choice like you do when faced with a rare case of poly arteritis nodosa and all you need is a particular investigation to confirm that which you think. Indeed the skill involved in examining bags was exceptional to a lady friend of mine when I was fortunate to get her support in buying a suitable bag for a prized possession I had just acquired.

With an eye of a hawk she could “rubbish” the quality of a bag your eyes had fallen for and then with the hands that only belong to her she examines that one she suspects deserves her hand. Like all unsuspecting vendors, none was ready for this steadiness of being told how “fake” their product is. For some, sharing a crocodile smile was all they could manage.

From inspection of the texture, type to palpation of the thickness of the body, safety of the zips and stability of the handles all these principles were being applied to buying just “a bag”. I cant claim I am finished with my lessons even with a good grasp of the theory but if for a few more moments (not sure when these shall come by) of being an apprentice am supposed to be.

As we perused and examined different bags as I was being taught by someone I deemed my junior my mind wondered to much we miss in a hurry while at school. It’s obviously not a one day affaire but the presumption is if we give attention to the detail and be patient with it then the world will be a better place.

This is not a reserve of only the medics but in all fields where professionalism is a prerequisite ranging from traders to the politicians. The whole conundrum needs time to understand their niche and give it their best then, Africa shall be a place we are all glad to show off, not just for the sake of it.

I DON’T LIKE WAKING UP

As the dawn takes over the skies briskly, my mesencephalon decides to give sleep a “rest”, a decision disagreeable. To emphasize its point I being to fathom “how I am to start enrolling more subjects for my study.” Subjects for this study needed a larger team than I had imagined and now there is fault in using one protocol for all sites as some have their own working schedules and teams.

Now this grey matter within the vault is indicating I have to find out the pathologists if any for one of the site and inquire whether we could use our team. Of course this comes up as we need to buy certain reagents required in doing these sort of procedures. Procedures meant to make some professions “brighter” as my teachers used to say but unfortunately the rate of doing them has dwindled greatly

In case your curiosity takes over like mine did to do this sort of study, all I can say is I hope am not my own patient in this study (autopsies). As for my being up early it certainly could be the nerves that go on messing with my slumber. A nice slumber i had till this weird dream of me being in the same place with “Klaus” started. I survived and decided I had enough of that, so I had to witness the sunrise.

A beautiful sunrise it is this morning, I think for am still in my bed anyway and am not looking out. The weather is perfect for an extended leave within bed but the situation is crappy to continue one. I have an appointment about a project within medical school and that is actually why I have risen this early.

I am not sure what to expect out of this meeting but I suppose am to begin work on something I have been “craving” for. More and more projects because I am an adrenaline junkie, once there is no adrenaline the ability to jump start my day is a lot of work. Now this is the opportunity I was waiting for and my thinking is still in a maze I do hope to solve today.

I need to find the mirror after washup and I might promise to tell you what the mirror saw in me.

INSPIRE ME?

INSPIRE ME

My  head is pounding and am making effort to close my eyes, a remedy I realized is only temporary but what I need now as fast wind blows past me I concentrate on my destination. I look at my phone clock only to notice am 15 minutes late for an appointment. Clearly not a good sign for me but under current circumstances I can only pray I don’t bounce or be obviously late.

That’s why I beckoned a “boda boda” to make the quickest en-route to my destination. Mentioning the boda boda I don’t recall noticing much of him even in the negotiation phase for a fair fare, only I noticed he was clean being the reason I waved him down.

Right now he is talking and I pray he shuts up, or he at least gets temporary oral and hypoglossal paralysis. He has a good spoken English command and I make a mental congratulatory note to that. It’s rare to find many of his kind who can do that. But this is no reason for him to continue talking when I need him to literally shut it, just am not terrible enough to say that.

As he goes on wobbling about his bad luck I notice his tone is genuinely concerned.  He is obviously talking about something with a lot of passion. I then decide to open my mind to listen to what he was talking about. To sum it, he is a distressed and lost man, searching for answers.

Now really this is kind of weird for me, indeed creepy it is for I don’t remember signing up for rescuing distressed souls and at that “men”. I must add that even though I am a doctor (you can wrinkle your face for all I care) and   I attended that counseling class, am not comfortable with “men” pouring out their hearts for me.

Although I am disturbed by his boldness to talk to I a stranger even when I know I owe my safety to him at this moment, I am quite impressed by his attitude not to care and actually think he will get his answers. He doesn’t shut up as I expected even with my silence but he goes on probing.

For those who are lucky to comprehend the current economic situation from the middle and lower class view will appreciate how “times are hard”. Everyone knows this but we don’t go on disturbing the peace of strangers with this topic for any reasonable concern their might be.

He then relates this to the rising mental illness in the country, now wait a minute I read an article on that topic but this guy knows about it already.  From a concerned view, the ear hair cells are stretched further when I realize he didn’t read the paper but he speaks from a personal perspective.

With some friends gone awry in that direction, gives me the reason why my new “friend” is terribly disturbed. My analogy is that he is probably finding reasons for his late bizarre behavior, if he hasn’t done something horrid already. With criminal minds on my desk I rarely trust them smart ones as serial killers are usually smart. Of course it’s not that I fathom him being a serial killer or worse cannibal but I would have loved to play Holmes even when am not  Sherlock Holmes. But I ll do with mine which is above average anyway as I always stress to those willing ears.

The more this guy arouses my interest in what he is saying, the more I realize that if I don’t say a word I would have a case of mental illness on my hands or could be worse. That is the moment the genial inspiration talker in me is stroke and that is a rare feat.

Now am no expert but I trust my opinion because I form them from my careful observation and my peers’ opinions or what I read. The trend of the economic times is a matter of fact, most attribute it to corruption and its related vices but I insist it’s a generation gone wrong. If I had the time I could prove this right but right now I’ll just make my opinion and hopefully it echoes in many people’s lives.

“How old are you?” I ask my “friend”.

“32years,” came an apt response. And of course he is with a wife and children as he indicated earlier, to explain why I objected his viewpoint was for my lack of similar responsibilities.

“I suppose you would want to be on this boda boda at 42years (that is 10years from this year)”

“No.” I expected the response to be that but I had to continue the probing.

“And why is that so? Do you expect to be miraculously saved from this predicament?” I knew I was unnerving him and quite frankly I think making him uncomfortable but the headache was getting better.

“I don’t know,” I now started thinking this guy should stop being predictable, it gets boring.

“Alright, I guess you get my point which unfortunately many of our fellow youths don’t get today. They think of tomorrow or in a month’s time but when you ask where do you want to be in the next 10years, then that becomes hard to answer.

We are of a generation with so many inequalities that we unfortunately/fortunately want to correct immediately. That is not the fault but the method is usually in question for actually some become an instant success, unfortunately you are not one of them. We want a good life, because our peers have a good life but then their parents or grandparents made it easier for them. Who shall make it easier for your off springs if it’s not you?

Back to the reason why I told you why saving and investing are what will change this crippled predicament. How much do you make a month?” I didn’t realize how verbose I had suddenly become and actually passionate about what I was saying.

“it varies from Ugshs 300,000.00 to Ugshs 450,000.00.” for someone in his trade had to commend him for a good job.

“But if you can manage to save Ug50, 000.00 each month and also some from your wife if she works, you can manage to get Ugshs 600,000.00 at the end of the year. Don’t you think that is something?” it was time to make his mind dream. Well imagine how much you could save in 5years and then with probably some other motorcycle or whatever you find more commercially viable to you, you could get a piece of land and then now will stop your progress.” We arrived at my destination and I had to pay my fare though I could not charge for the consultation. “There is a lot you can do for yourself if you stopped a bit, thought about the future, planned and then implemented with a fiscal discipline that is lacking in many of us. You have to take charge of your future and stop blaming the government for it for no one will come to your aid if you don’t do it yourself first.” Those were my closing remarks as I had to hurry for my appointment.

“Thank you my “friend”.” It was genuine with a wide smile and I knew I have probably made a difference in someone else’s.

“Question is have you used your opportunity to make that difference.”

WHY I NEED THE MIRROR

For a long time now in my life I have never owned a mirror;

Sometimes I am not sure of how I look like because I take long to go my barber

My barber has a big plain mirror; he even knows the principles of reflection for I can see the back of my forehead

I know it because the mirror keeps seeing my occipital and post auricular area because I read that’s what they are during my 5year stint at medical school.

At school, my hair well you don’t want to know but now it looks a bit organized thanks to the mirror in the bathrooms in my halls of residence.

But now that episode is over and I keep taking care of my hair, because the barber last me in January.

I at times use my sisters’ mirror because I still need to know.

The mirror saw me because it wants to tell me everything it knows about me.

And that is why I reflect what the mirror saw in me the way I see it because I like to share and I was told to share.